What's on my mind and more

Dear reader,

It’s been quite long. Once again. I was consumed by so many happenings. They are so many things I like to do and I simply couldn’t find the balance. I told myself at a certain point, ‘when I have time, then, I shall write’. But it never happened. I just thought about doing it, making time to write and I never did. I mean, I wrote but it never made it here. I just, really judged myself too much. I was so stuck comparing myself with the world. People. Certainly, they are better. I thought. What’s the use writing when I can not be as they are. But something has changed.

You have no idea how many self-help articles, books and videos I have had myself look at to be a better person. So many questions about life I wish to be answered. Never wanting to do anything until I know for sure there is some basis for it and especially the very best way to do it. Never wanting to write until I have exhausted everything about the subject wherever I can find it so that I of course, do not reinvent the wheel and that I can write something sensible. I just felt like knowing everything about a subject will help me navigate it. But it turns out there is no end to everything and I can’t know it all.

Photo by Alisa Anton on Unsplash

I have been engaging myself quite often with my creator. God. My dearest father. And in praying, reading and hearing his word. I am beginning to know more about life than from movies and novels and all I have read. Its like the more I engage in prayer and seeking him, the more he is revealing himself and his nature to me. More so, who I am and what I am capable of.

I am incomparable. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He took time on not just me. But you and you and everyone you know. Your success is something to celebrate as theirs is. Not a subject of envy. It bothered me the way I thought. How I simply thought other’s success is my failure. How at times, I was happy for people but also, not quite so. But it seems our minds are drawn to ourselves. We are naturally selfish. Not surprising, we were born into a sinful world. But we have a good father who cares for us. Whose love and affection that is beyond everything is the reason of our salvation. He is simply Holy and Righteous. He can’t allow us to be as the world we were born into. He sent his own beloved to be sin for us so that in dying on the cross, our sins did too. We rose in life in Him.

And so, it pleases and makes me happy when I know that God loves me so much that today I am blameless. Because of what Jesus did, I consider and think of myself victorious to every sin. I consider myself dead to sin because of what Jesus did for me on that cross. But I know it is not enough.

Choosing to crucify my desires and passions and what I am naturally drawn to because of my flesh helps me to be better. I willingly choose to be more like Christ. 

A little more about the Holy Spirit

I was watching a sermon by Vlad Savchuk whom I owe all of my discovery and the holy spirit of course.

I imagine that when I am delivered from evil and set free then I will have no troubles or even be tempted. For me, I have always felt that after being prayed for, I can defeat anything coming my way. That I can withstand temptation. Because of the Holy Spirit I have surely been blessed with, I simply imagine I can do anything especially not give in to desires of my flesh. But what I did not know is that the Holy Spirit can be in me and in you too as I know it is, but if we do not yield to it, then we are merely kidding ourselves. We will please ourselves.

Committing to the holy spirit makes all the difference. It is committing to the Spirit of God. I had trouble understanding this. I thought the Holy Spirt and God where different things. I was wrong. They are one. It is the Spirit of God and it is Holy. So, it is God himself who we should commit to. Yield to. Surrender to. Choose over our own desires.

It’s not something that just happens as I supposed. No. It is a choice. We choose to submit to God and what he says and it changes us. It is changing me. He can’t force us.

There are times I have found myself believing that some people around me are the enemy until I realized yesterday that they are not. This battle is not against blood and flesh but it is spiritual. The devil and his minions try to make us feel as though it is they that are against us when its him. He uses our desires in us that are ours and we, seeking to have what we want fulfilled, find ourselves feeling like others are against us. It isn’t the world but the devil and yes indeed our flesh that we fight against. They have their own needs. We must choose whom to obey or indulge for. We must choose to crucify it; we must submit to God who can set us free. We must seek him first and do so wholeheartedly and he will fulfil our desires.

On our own we can’t. But he helps us. The Holy Spirit does.

Until next time, say cheese!

God bless you.