2021. Gone too soon!

  Dear reader,

Pheew! The last day of the year. Do you have your new year's resolution written or thought over yet? How about this year, did you get to do what you planned and wanted to?(hoping your goals weren't unrealistic)

 

Here is part of what I have for 2022 (among others);)

 New year’s resolution!

I am coming without a plan

I am coming holistically 

Bringing all I am with me

Whatever comes, I’ll take in

I can. I can and I will do

Whatever I need to do

With all that I am

Dive into the unknown

Fail bravely into success

Smiling all the while

I am coming in holding on to

His promises; ‘Don’t be afraid

I am with you. You can do

Anything. I am with you.

In your weakness, I will be your strength

Face challenges, they make you stronger

Whatever comes, you’ll go through

It mightily and win through and 

Through

I am coming in with

Love. It blooms and maketh shine

Love = everything!

●       ●       ●

This year surprised me. So much happened and so much did not. As much as I got to tick some things off my to do list, things I never imagined to ever happen to me did:

• For starters, I started this blog as a trial. I wanted to see if it was going to work. It turned to this. I have over 60 blog posts now written since early February and over 600 views. Not bad for a beginner!

• I was always afraid of water. I swore to never ever be under water and yet, for the first time this year, I did. I immersed myself in water and stayed there longer than 5 seconds. I did not die! Well, of course it didn’t happen so easily. There is a backstory to it that involves a 13-year-old telling me how low my self-esteem is and her thinking am 12 and me being stunned and wanting to give water a try after her lecturing me about swimming and how easy and fun it is. I had to give it a try. 

It opened up a world of possibilities. Me swimming. Me sliding into a deep enough pool. I've never been so proud…and then me swimming and having water enter my lungs. Making air impossible to get into my lungs. It was a struggle to get me back to breathing. You don’t appreciate your lungs until you can't do without them! 

• I came from being afraid of speaking to people or doing spoken word poetry in a small group-I literally covered my face with a notebook to speak some days and refused any pictures of me be taken in the process- to being part of the first ever Deft Media Poetry Festival where I did spoken-word poetry in front of over 30 people. I still can’t get my head over it. But it did happen with a help of a few of my friends. Thanks Gina, Mike and Harriet among others! They encouraged me and cheered me on saying I could, I could and hey, I did. Their belief in me slowly led me to do so for myself.

• I just dyed my hair like today. It was a recurring thought this year and the fact that it has happened blows me away. I love how my hair feels brand-new to me.

• Despite experiencing some heartbreaking situations, they somehow led to a better me. Am so happy they all happened even though it hurt in the moments. So much! I get to appreciate myself now even more. Without the bad, how could I appreciate the good eey!

• I got to admit my flaws and weaknesses. I faced my demons over and over this year. I got to see what a control freak I was. I had a near death experience with…water in a kid’s pool (as big as I am) and by my own hand. The latter so much so. I had a panic attack. I felt paralysed by fear in multiple occasions. It froze my throat and held my tongue. Therapy opened up a new me. It removed the cloudy haze that followed me everywhere and made me aware of myself and those around me.

• Just when I thought covid was going to end, another variant came out. All these make me hope it gets over soon. I miss the world I could see peoples smiles from their mouth and stretched lips than from their eyes and stretched skin now, around the eyes now. LoL!. 

• I wrote a book that I couldn’t finish editing. If you want a look, email me.

• I went hiking for the first time in my life. It was quite an experience that you would understand if you do it yourself. I loved it. Seeing the view of the city, barren land, miles and miles of hilly areas and buildings from miles up helped me appreciate nature even more. The struggle was real in getting on the peak of Mount Michiru. It was paid by the view and satisfaction and that feeling of accomplishment. Getting down was some work!

 

Am sure the list could go on. But I learnt so much from this year. Among others that I am not in control of what gets to happen even after I make a plan. Things won’t always turn out the way I would want them. The only thing I am in charge of is my attitude towards things around me.

And over and over, it is about how I see it. Perception is everything. The same thing can be a threat and an opportunity and how I handle it gets me to the left or right. Above all, ignorance is not bliss. You will know the truth and the truth shall set you free. 

How about you, what surprised you in 2021? What do you hope to do different and to accomplish this year? Feel free to leave your comments below!

Love,

Yours truly, xoxo