WE FORGET

 Dear reader,

I hope you are having an awesome day. So am i though with the exception of alittle sore throat.

Don't forget

For two weeks now, I have been on the low and some unexpected highs going through each day. Every day has been surprising me and every day seems to keep surprising me. But what I have loved most is what happened yesterday. I awoke something around 6am and I saw some light sipping in from behind the closed  curtains. I bet its sunny! I said to myself. I was happy to have woken up to a beautiful day. I couldn’t wait to live it. 

As per planned the day before, I sat myself on the bed and did my assignments. I was wishing it don't finish because I didn’t want to study afterwards like the past weeks. But well, a plan is a plan. I wanted to slash it off my list. I then studied and boy what a good time I had getting myself acquainted with information I was running away from before. Well, I didn’t trust my brain enough to get the stuff then.

I remembered how I used to study back in the day when I was in grade 11. I loved it. I just had a moment with myself. Thinking about it made me know how much I let myself forget things. I forgot that if I put my mind to doing something, I sure can do it. I forgot that I can grasp a lot of things if I do it correctly and if am having fun all through. I forgot I love school. All I could think of the weeks before were the possibilities of me not doing well because of the much overwhelming things am supposed to know.

 I forgot that if I take it a step at a time, I will get all the work done no matter how much it is. I smiled to myself and thought well, all this time I was looking for a way to study and I wasn’t finding what was vibing with me because I forgot how I studied last year or the year before and I didn’t know how to handle myself. Now, I got myself a new study recipe that I so much love.

Upon reading with Stew one of his books yesterday, I came across one of the paintings in it that made me go back to when I was a kid. Then when i had no knowledge that I will be 12 or 20 someday. I was in that moment drawing on the soil with my fingers some lines that somehow made me happy. 

It was fun. And then also, the small circle, big circle drawing. 

Looking at the paintings made me realize that as we get to grow and somehow get busy with doing so many things, we forget about the little things that make us happy, the little things that used to make us happy that if we go back to them just for a moment, we will get to realize that happiness is everywhere and there is a lot to be grateful for.

 Playfulness makes us happy. We love to play because it is a way of expressing ourselves and knowing ourselves in the process. It's getting our ideas in something that makes us think different in any particular moment.

When I was little, I loved to play, even when it was a game I was losing. I still loved to do it. Last year, sometime in June if am not mistaken, I played a game I don’t know how to name as it is. It's like the picture below. 

I wasn’t winning but still, I loved to watch it played by my friend.

 

When times are hard. When it seems as if one is going through a series of unfortunate events, one forgets that the same things around makes them happy. I forgot that looking at flowers makes me happy the other day. When I looked at some flowers, all I said to myself was that truly flowers are beautiful and then afterwards, the rain comes so the flower grows, too much rain can kill? Well, of course I added the other part. 

I was with the people I love around me and I forgot that they make me happy. All I could think about was the nothingness that was inside of me. A hollow place that I didn’t want to be. I didn’t want to be me anymore. With how the birds were melodious, I only thought of how I was in pain unknown of its home and all the hopelessness. I just gave up on myself. I literally didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t want to think about the things I loved because nothing seemed to make sense. My mind was fixed on one thing that was supposedly supposed to make me feel better. Going away. I was so fixed on it that happiness and sadness around me didnt differ from one another because regardless, all I could see was my intention. I forgot.

 

But my love reminded me. He told me of all of the things I have done and all am yet to do that I want to do and all I wish to do and all life is about to surprise me with. He reminded me of the plans we made together to do all these things. Was I going to give up now? If I do, do I know the unintended consequences it may bring? I didn’t think about that. I was only thinking about what I was feeling. Nothing. I wanted that to go away. It wanted to go with me. Did I know that others may come along with me? No I did not because to me, I was alone and everyone was with everyone. I forgot. I let the nothingness consume me in a way. 

 

I remembered and that’s what mattered. I remembered that seeing him smile makes me happy. I remembered that I have a book am writing that I can't wait to finish, I remembered that every day is a blessing. Life is beautiful. And if am here. If God saw it fit that I be here, I will be bad to go against him.

Don’t forget the child in you. Don’t forget to play and pray. Don’t forget to love. Love is all you need to achieve anything in this life. It is at the center of everything in this universe. It unites and its absence divides as we know of it. Sometimes just stop for a few moments and remember something, anything that makes you happy, any happy moment from your childhood or any day. If you are not happy now, it is okay. You will be. There has to be sun days and rain days. They complement each other. I will leave with saying that, please remember. Remember how it felt like, you can still feel that now or even better, fo it since it won't be a memory, it will be happening. Don’t forget that you choose to be happy and if you are sad this moment, you can force a smile on that pretty face and that will make your day.