Try again

 And I guess the moral of the story is that worrying won't get your work done.

I spent the past few days wrecking my head over what to do and how to do it. I actually went on to Google insights on getting things done, Instagram and YouTube.

One video on how to feel motivated when I'm feeling mostly like a drab lead to another about watching my life go on and how YouTube is probably doing some damage on me. Addiction to social media was written all over me. Every after I sat down for a breather or to do something, that was it. Mindlessly watching video, shot after shot.

I liked this short story particularly though. It was about a child who asked his father what life was worth or something like that. The father asked the child to go to the market with a stone and told him that if anyone asks for its price, he should raise his two fingers and see what happens. He did and a woman asked the little boy, how much for the stone, the boy raised his two fingers and the woman said, 2 dollars? I will take it.

When the child reported the insident to his father, he was sent to do the same to the museum and the precious stone store where he met a man at both places who offered $2000 and $200 000 for the same stone the woman accepted at $2.

The father went on to say to his son that it is the same with life. You have to decide your worth or people will do it for you. Do the work for what you want.

It sort of made me want to apply it to my own life. What made my day even more being on YouTube was this video by some Zeus something. There was this part that was talking about self-help videos there. He was like, the videos are designed to make you feel so accomplished after you're done watching that you would want to watch more of videos on how tos or whatsoever instead of getting down to it.

When all is said and done, if we really want to accomplish or do something, we won't look for motivation to do it. We will just go head on doing it even when we don't have everything. We figure things out on the way that we don't know. We ask or watch videos to get the right insights.

I spend most of my time thinking of what to do instead of the actual doing. This video was like that nudge to go on doing what I would like to do without any excuses which don't make man by the way.

Aside from all that, my constant worry has been a research proposal topic that I need to find and the reading to be involved to get there. I kept on worrying and stressing this whole week. I couldn't even just be without the thought of it.

In actuality, I wasn't even reading or thinking much about it because truth be told, I didn't want to do it.

Maybe it's more fun and easy to complain than to get things done. But the time spent worrying and lazying around would have been put to reading or something better. Even when I didn't feel like it.

Today, I decided to just go on with it. Study using pomodoro. Something I'm begging to like. The first step for me though was to create a to do list for today before sleeping yesterday to prep my head for lero.

When I had nothing to do, I just had to take something from my list and keep at it. The funny thing is, right after I started. 3 or so minutes into it, I couldn't get what my eyes where looking at. I was like, fudge it, let me play games or give up. For a change, a little voicd inside told me to try and try again. Do it again. Don't get what the sentence is saying, start over. Do it intentionally and you will get it. And just like that. It worked. I'm going to my third session already and feeling all fire.

This mini happening was a reminder for me to not give up at the first sign of failure or lack of results I want. Sometimes it's the second or third even fifth try that works. Keep working. Keep on keeping on. You get luckier that way. Some of these things don't just happen