This is for you

 Hello friend!

We are all humans. We go through a lot of things due to circumstances and situations we face. They don’t make us less of what we are  or who we should be, they make us. They in turn shape who we get to become. Sometimes I go through the day doing things knowingly and sometimes unknowingly. I have absolutely no idea what to do or what is happening. I have no control over what gets to happen and not knowing and not being in control makes me feel like everything is out of hand and I will not get what I want to be had. It makes me stress about things I don’t even know about-not knowing is okay.

 We don’t know everything and that is okay. In time, we get to know of things as they should be. Sometimes what happens doesn’t make sense until a little after it has happened. Appreciate every breath taken. Today taught me that there is a lot that goes on with everyone. Just because you feel depressed doesn’t mean others don’t. talking about your feelings and happenings with others may help you find just about exactly what you need to know and do or tr out. In talking about it all, it gets to make more sense to you and you understand a little of what you are going through. 

Communication is key in everyday endeavors. And that brings me to saying no man is an island. It is true. We need each other to be more than what we are. More of what we need to be that we are not. In communicating and knowing others, some inert part of us is awakened. We find that we are become more. Ever growing with each day break. 

My day started with me feeling a little negligent about myself and yearning to feel absolutely nothing. I felt it so intensely that I wanted it to go. To me then, it seemed the best way forward was going to be going away with it. Until I expressed myself to someone I trust even when it was hard, even when in saying all I was saying I felt I wasn’t communicating, even when somethings were hard to say, I was not feeling free. Expression leads to freedom. I say you do it often. So here is what I wrote when I was feeling a lot of what can only be understood in what I wrote: 

One thing is for sure, the world doesn’t revolve around me.

Am having urges to throw myself over a high area

For earth to swallow me in its warm and peaceful embrace

A note: we all need and want love. Love keeps us alive. Life is loving. 

What I wrote then made me think of the anthology on fear am writing. It relates a lot to the poems am writing in it. I will give you a taste of  a few below;

You keep me away from testing the waters

I retreat

I run deep into the jungle

Where I cannot be seen

-Am afraid I don’t know how to be

☆

Am swimming in the lava of fear

Getting burnt

Slowly drowning

Dying to life-living to death

Will it ever go away?

☆

Surrounded by four walls

You are more real than my breath

Closing in on me fast

To devour my essence

Fear

Am sure

If you keep on

I will stop breathing

☆

My silence means you're my mouthpiece

☆

The tiny baby steps whisper to me

‘’Your legs will break!’’

The darkness, nothingness behind me says

Stay, I will protect you

-Angst

☆

Among my fears, is being in the light at night

I find the darkness to be highly comforting

It sings me to sleep together with its silence

 

Among my fears is that of rejection

it leaves me playing it safe

☆

At the heart of everything there is love.

What do you do when you feel afraid?

Do you tell yourself you are not?

In fear,

Love is in wanting to be safe

/./.

This is it for now. I will share the rest when am done compiling then in a proper order. It will take some time.